Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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