She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
