i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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