I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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