And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
