REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
