the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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