It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
false alarm, still single
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
