We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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