Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
