Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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