We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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