Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
