And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
