I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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