Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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