i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i barfeds in our rink
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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