omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
