After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
