and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
