Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
