So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
