This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
