"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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