I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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