WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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