So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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