I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
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remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
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Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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