she looked like the before picture.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
