There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
