I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
