The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
