she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
