Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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