i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Pants are for mortals
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
