So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
