I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
