yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
