have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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