Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
