I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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