Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
