is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
