once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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