Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
