If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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