I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
