there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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