Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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