just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
