Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
