Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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