idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
