can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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