Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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