i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
