Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
