I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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