You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
