I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
