I look better un-naked...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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